Friday, August 06, 2004

hmm my official first blog here..i dunno why i wanted to start a new blog..perhaps cos like wat my fren soulreave was saying.. it's time u forget abt someone.. so after some thinking abt it..i tot it's nice to juz remove e person from the whole picture.. ydae i told soulreave.. he's a person who can only present in 2 forms.. either lovers or dunno-each-other person.. he's fine as a lover but he's not really good at being a fren..somehw tt's wat i feel.. the amount of effort he put in to maintain a frenship is as wat i see..minimal.. sometimes it's not like we being frens dun want to help out or anything..it's juz that there's really v little we can do and from his way of approach and everything.. u really feel damn useful only whn he ask u to do something for him..other thn those times.. i think he'll not even appear anywhere near u.. it's really kinda sad to noe that someone who used to be so close to heart can only be so far away from u now.. i think it's different for everyone.. he can only concentrate on a few things.. like his current love interest and maybe ways and means to get money..i'm glad to noe that his current love interest can provide him with alot of things.. heard from some other ppl that he always get a lot of gifts.. i mean hmm.. nt quite my style.. i dun expect someone to pamper me with alot of gifts.. i dunno lah.. apparently tt's a v good way of pampering someone and showing ur love.. nt much of an idea abt tt

someone told me he's gay ydae.. indirectly.. i refused to acknowledge the point..thn i pretended that i'm dense.. like super duper dense can.. nv tried so hard to be tt dumb.. haha nt like i'm kinda smart too.. cos i noe wat's gg on in that person's mind.. i dun want to start asking too much into his life on that part.. i guess it's alrite as a fren now.. all along i knew he was in the circle.. juz tt i dun want to reveal anything.. i think some of my classmates tot that i'm one of the PLU too.. but thn i'm not gg to commit to anything .. i dun wish to be involved i guess.. i'm really tired.. somehow.. i dunno.. there are really nice ppl ard me.. i noe they treat me v nicely.. but whn i start thinking that they only want something from me.. i started thinking of the past and stuffs..haiz.. it's a built up effect i guess...

gg for bfast with dear.. tok later

 D.A.  flew at 6:49 PM